Letter To: Minerva McGonagall

This letter is to Minerva McGonagall from the Harry Potter series. No Spoilers included.


Dear Minerva McGonagall,

I'm sorry to seem rude but you seem to have forgotten to post my Hogwarts letter. It was due a few years ago but never arrived. I've been ever so patient about it, and have even attended normal muggle secondary school for a few years, but I'm getting worried that it might never arrive now.

I can perfectly understand if you accidentally forgot to post the letter, after all, you must be in your late 70s now and are possibly losing your memory. On the other hand, it could simply be lost somewhere if you used an unreliable owl to post it. You didn't happen to borrow Pigwidgeon did you? Or perhaps Errol? Don't worry, I can forgive you if it was lost by an owl, I know that that can't have been your fault.

Anyway, if you could please send my letter as soon as possible I'd be very grateful. I'm already nearly 4 years behind on my magical skills so I really do need to get to Hogwarts as soon as possible to catch up before my O.W.L.s next summer.

Your truly,
Lilac
Future Hogwarts Pupil

Letter To: Maximum Ride

Every week I will post a letter to a fictional character. This week's letter is to Max from the Maximum Ride series by James Patterson. No spoilers this time.

Dear Max

You are extremely cool. Seriously cool. You're the most kick-ass heroine I've ever read. You're the epitome of awesome. Really, you are.

When I was first introduced to you at 11 years old I was completely blown away. How could such an amazing character exist? You were a 14 year old who talked back to adults, fought superbly against them and actually won arguments against them. You were sarcastic and witty and kick-ass. Not only that but you could fly. I couldn't very well not be amazed by a flying girl with an attitude. 

You were there when I started secondary school, showing me how cool I could be if I wanted to. Every year a new book featuring you and the flock would come out and remind me that I didn't have to wear loads of makeup and follow all the fashions and be a girly girl to be cool. I just had to be a 98% human with wings, on the run from mad scientists and half-human half-wolf creatures. Or, failing that, just be myself. 

Yes, you weren't as great in the later books. You lost some of your kick-ass-ness and started caring too much for certain characters I wasn't keen on. But you still kept your strength and were still so protective over your flock, especially little Angel. 

You were, and still are, one of the coolest characters I've ever met. I just wanted to write this letter to thank you for being so awesome and for making my boring life so much more interesting. Also, thank you for introducing me to YA books. Without the Maximum Ride series I might never have found that great genre. So thank you for everything, Max.

Yours sincerely

Lilac 

Letter To: Tris Prior

Every week I will post a letter to a fictional character. This week's letter is to Beatrice Prior from the Divergent series by Veronica Roth.

SPOILER ALERT: Contains spoilers from Divergent and Insurgent

Dear Tris,

I have a bone to pick with you. And I'm sorry but it cannot wait; it's extremely important. The thing is, at the end of Divergent, you did something I can never forgive you for. 

You shot Will.

Why why why why why? Why would you do something like that? Why Would you shoot your best friend's boyfriend in the head?

What bugs me most is that it was in the head that you shot him. Not the leg of foot or something to stop him being able to walk until he was back to normal. Nope, you had to shoot him in the head. You had to kill him didn't you? Gah, Tris you frustrate me sometimes. Any normal person would have shot their friend in the leg so that they couldn't move, not the head! I hope you've learnt your lesson now, learnt that it is not okay to shoot your friend in the head, not matter how crazy he happens to be at the time. Understand? Good.

By the way Tris, I do like you. You're a cool character who shows that even small people can be kick-ass if they want to be. Yeah, I do like you, but I had to tell you the truth. You had to understand just how mad I was (am?) at you for your terrible crime. Just never do it again. That's all.

Your friend,
Lilac

Letter To: Shane Collins

I've decided that from now on every week I'll post letters to fictional characters from my favourite books. This is my letter to Shane Collins, from the Morganville Vampires series by Rachel Caine.

SPOILER ALERT: Contains spoilers from The Morganville Vampires books 1 - 13!

Dear Shane Collins,

May I first may that I LOVE YOU! I love you so so so much Shane, you are the best book boyfriend out there and I can't believe I only get to spend two more books with you! You've no idea how sad that makes me! I love everything about you, from your witty sarcasm to your super amazing looks to your soft inner self. I just had to tell you that Shane, because I really do love you.

Now, let's get down to business. Here's what I need to say to you: get back together with Claire. You would be lost without her and you know it. Remember the time you thought she'd died?? Remember what you nearly did?? Eh? Eh? I remember. That's right, I remember what you were going to do. You don't want that to happen again do you? Nope.

The only way you can stop that happening is to get back together with your wonderful girlfriend. She is the best thing that ever happened to you. Now that you're out of Morganville and don't even have Michael and Eve you need her more than ever. Look after her while she goes to college. Do whatever she needs you to. Do whatever it takes to get her forgiveness. She will forgive you in the end, as long as you are super nice to her and NEVER betray her again.

After all, if you're not nice to her then I know someone else who will be. Someone with cute fanged bunny slippers  Someone who's not human. Do what you have to do, just make sure you get back together with her before she realises her love for someone else.

Please Shane, I'm begging you. Just do me this one favour.

Thanks,
Lilac